hiatus
I have decided to take a hiatus from my art groups. I am down to finishing two different projects and then need to concentrate on myself and my family for awhile. I think Vickie's death scared me because you realize how little time you have on this earth and anyone can go at the blink of an eye. I don't have any of my own art in my home. I would really like to change that! I always give away the things I make and have sold only a couple and done some for charity and such. I am getting things culled back and it feels good. I want to simplify things. Today I bought a kitchenaid mixer. I have been wanting one for a long time and since I am baking a lot more because of the celiac disease, it will be so nice to not have to do it all by hand. I also ordered a new and better digital camera. I want to start photographing more and getting a lot more of my children.
I am helping in Brody's class as much as I can this year and would like to make a memory book for each student in the class. I love working with the kids in the autism program. They are all so special and so very unique.
Last week, I had so much pain. I was in bed a lot and out of pain killers for a few days as well as sleep aides. That doesn't work with me very well. Some days were unbearable. I finally got my prescriptions on Friday and had a great day Saturday. On Sunday, I went to my friend Vickie's house to help her girls clean out her art room and business. They did sell her business so one of her daughter's packed all the inventory and the other one was in the craft room. I tried to help where I could.
It was weird being there without her. It made me smile to see all the dings and holes that she put in walls and doorways with her wheelchair! She had knocked a few of the doors right off the hinges! She moved fast in that thing. I remember at one meeting, I was sitting at the end of a banquet table and she backed into the other end, not realizing that she was squishing me on the other end. I was in a chair that I couldn't move because I was on carpet and it was stuck there! I didn't want to yell at her because I respected her too much but when I decided that the table was just about coming out my back side, I did have to say something! She felt so bad. I thought it was kind of funny-after I got my breath back and after my broken ribs healed! Just kidding, there were no broken bones. Just some soreness.
Vickie was so sweet, and never wanted to cause trouble. I think her doctors didn't do her justice. I can see her though not wanting to rock the boat and just doing what they said. I could see in her face that she was in a bit of despair the last few times. I wish I could've helped her. I wish there was more I could have done. I wish her doctor's had done more. That was their job and they failed at it. She wasn't given the proper meds and supplies until it was too late. She should have had more attention. I am afraid, to the doctor's that she was just a number and not a person with a family, husband, children and grandchildren. A lot of doctors are like that anymore. It is a sad situation. They herd you in like cattle and keep the people moving to make as much money as possible. They ask you questions but don't really 'hear' what you have to say. I am lucky that now I have, finally, some great doctors. I shouldn't have had to see doctors my whole life to finally figure out what was wrong with me. It was hell being told by so many of them that I was a hypochondriac and that it was all in my head and 'there is nothing wrong with you' said in such a way that I could tell that they thought I was wasting their time. It is ridiculous that we should expect so much as to have them do their jobs.
Sometimes I think that they went to school to learn how to write prescriptions and order tests or just decide that you are mental and hand you a bag of antidepressants. Along with that they order meds for constipation, anti-diarrhea, heartburn, and more. The drugs you have to take to quell the symptoms of the drugs you need are more than the ones you need to fight the disease.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant. I really need some sleep. I am having bouts of insomnia again!
hugs,
Zhall
I am helping in Brody's class as much as I can this year and would like to make a memory book for each student in the class. I love working with the kids in the autism program. They are all so special and so very unique.
Last week, I had so much pain. I was in bed a lot and out of pain killers for a few days as well as sleep aides. That doesn't work with me very well. Some days were unbearable. I finally got my prescriptions on Friday and had a great day Saturday. On Sunday, I went to my friend Vickie's house to help her girls clean out her art room and business. They did sell her business so one of her daughter's packed all the inventory and the other one was in the craft room. I tried to help where I could.
It was weird being there without her. It made me smile to see all the dings and holes that she put in walls and doorways with her wheelchair! She had knocked a few of the doors right off the hinges! She moved fast in that thing. I remember at one meeting, I was sitting at the end of a banquet table and she backed into the other end, not realizing that she was squishing me on the other end. I was in a chair that I couldn't move because I was on carpet and it was stuck there! I didn't want to yell at her because I respected her too much but when I decided that the table was just about coming out my back side, I did have to say something! She felt so bad. I thought it was kind of funny-after I got my breath back and after my broken ribs healed! Just kidding, there were no broken bones. Just some soreness.
Vickie was so sweet, and never wanted to cause trouble. I think her doctors didn't do her justice. I can see her though not wanting to rock the boat and just doing what they said. I could see in her face that she was in a bit of despair the last few times. I wish I could've helped her. I wish there was more I could have done. I wish her doctor's had done more. That was their job and they failed at it. She wasn't given the proper meds and supplies until it was too late. She should have had more attention. I am afraid, to the doctor's that she was just a number and not a person with a family, husband, children and grandchildren. A lot of doctors are like that anymore. It is a sad situation. They herd you in like cattle and keep the people moving to make as much money as possible. They ask you questions but don't really 'hear' what you have to say. I am lucky that now I have, finally, some great doctors. I shouldn't have had to see doctors my whole life to finally figure out what was wrong with me. It was hell being told by so many of them that I was a hypochondriac and that it was all in my head and 'there is nothing wrong with you' said in such a way that I could tell that they thought I was wasting their time. It is ridiculous that we should expect so much as to have them do their jobs.
Sometimes I think that they went to school to learn how to write prescriptions and order tests or just decide that you are mental and hand you a bag of antidepressants. Along with that they order meds for constipation, anti-diarrhea, heartburn, and more. The drugs you have to take to quell the symptoms of the drugs you need are more than the ones you need to fight the disease.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant. I really need some sleep. I am having bouts of insomnia again!
hugs,
Zhall
posted by Zanna at 12:11 AM
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